For the last five or six years, John McNutt has been teasing me about being "All-Good."
It all began when some of my colleagues at TechFoundation dismissed my spirited defense of folks in other nonprofits and foundations that were vilifying us for one reason or another. I constantly strove to point out that our detractors were people of good faith who were (in light of their points of view) behaving in a perfectly reasonable and principled manner. One colleague shrugged and said, "well, of course you think that - you're naturally good, and don't understand that other people aren't." The others agreed; the conversation moved on.
(Naturally, I was incredulous. After all, everybody has a yetzer hara; it's what makes us human.)
I happened to mentioned this exchange to John, and somehow this morphed into "The All-Good" as his epithet for me. During one memorable car ride from Montauk to Boston, I was a captive audience while he riffed on the theme of marketing a Deborah super-hero action figure.
Although John has gotten the most mileage out of this, he's not the only one who makes much of my reputation as an unusually good scout. I have noted with gratitude - but also with ambivalence and bemusement - that a number of my professional colleagues have exaggerated ideas about my virtues.
Fortunately, the universe has its ways of helping me stay aware that I have great, um, scope for improvement. One of them is John's well-honed skill in needling me. Another is the vilification I've been receiving lately as the moderator of an online community that is focused on an area of the nonprofit sector. In the last month, I've inspired disgruntled group members to speculate about whether my practices as a moderator are best described in terms of "discrimination," "censorship," "malice," "incompetence," or "gross negligence."
Ouch!
In fact, I'm not all-good (or omni-competent), but I'm also not evil personified. With the email distribution list in question, I strive to encourage both civil discourse and free speech - and am not succeeding perfectly. I strive to be honest, responsible, fair, reasonable, courteous, respectful of others - and not am succeeding perfectly.
It's unfortunate that I'm a middling sort of person instead of a perfect one. It's also unfortunate that members of online communities often tend to ascribe extreme virtues and vices to each other when controversies arise.
It's so easy to forget that the disembodied messages appearing on our computer screens are coming from other human beings, most of whom are doing their best to adhere to their own high standards of good faith and reasonableness.
It's especially embarassing when people who are affiliated with the nonprofit sector - i.e., people who are dedicated to tikkun olam - forget this crucial truth. I'm committed to remembering it and acting on it, even though I'm falling short of being All-Good.
